you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
