Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
