waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Randomize
