nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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