How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
