if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
