You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
i need to put some appletini on your dick
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
