I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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