But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
