So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
