Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
