my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
