so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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