called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
