Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
