So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
