Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
no you cant smoke seaweed
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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