billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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