she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
