i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
