Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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