we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Floor bacon is actually really good
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
