i love accidental penises.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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