She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
