just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
