you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
