I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Just high enough for therapy.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
