the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
