how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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