If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
