Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
