I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
