if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
