I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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