i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize