were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
