Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Houston, we have a squirter
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
