Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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