she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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