Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
soo... how was my night?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
