I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
