I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
