this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
