i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
