I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
