real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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