I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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