we're blogging at a bar
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
