brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
