yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We talked him into tasing himself.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
