No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize