i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Randomize
