I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
