do herpes really smell.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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