is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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