My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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