would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
