On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
