I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
