I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i came on her dog
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
