There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
