That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
