hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
