i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
