To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
